I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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