so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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