found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
