Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
