I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
