$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
