Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
