i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
