So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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