After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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