drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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