out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
