He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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