she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
