And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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