also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
