i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
