Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
