pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
