hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
