The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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