I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
