I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
