i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize