I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
