it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
