I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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