Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
