i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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