I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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