I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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