So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
