grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
