Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
