did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
