just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
