I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize