I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
