best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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