I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
