who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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