I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
