one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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