Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize