I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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