WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
