I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
