What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
