just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How external is "for external use only"?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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