There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
