You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My vagina is very pro this idea
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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