god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vagina just recognized that song.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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