YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
