i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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